Grace, Gratitude, and Joy

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
~James 1:2 NLT

Studying the book of James has been... convicting. To say the least. Then I started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I'm getting the impression that I'm in need of a dramatic attitude adjustment! My experience at the zoo on Friday confirmed this for me. Friday was the day of the grand opening for the new penguin exhibit. When we arrived, we were greeted by an impenetrable wall of people. We were told by zoo staff that we'd have to wait, unable to view any of the exhibits, until the grand opening ceremony was finished. A wait of a few minutes, maybe half an hour, no one knew for sure. I was instantly annoyed. I was frustrated that they hadn't figured out a way to let people get past who simply wanted to see the rest of the zoo. I was also disappointed that I was being delayed in meeting up with my friend - a total waste of prime "just got to the zoo and the kids are still calm" visiting time. I let the zoo person know I wasn't impressed. I wasn't overly rude, I simply communicated my displeasure. (I think I said something like, "Well, that's a hassle," and walked away in a huff.) But was my negativity necessary? Did I really need to turn a minor inconvenience into a reason to be grumpy with someone who was simply doing her job? How could I have changed my attitude?

Reading One Thousand Gifts has challenged me to re-think everyday annoyances and frustrations. Turn them into a gift, a thing of beauty, something for which to be grateful. As James says, consider it joy. I'm thinking this isn't going to be an overnight transformation. It might be a bit more difficult than putting on rose-coloured glasses and deciding not to let my circumstances affect my attitude. This is starting to remind me of my post on patience - it sounds like a whole lot of work. But, if intentional gratitude is the path to joy-filled living, then it would be worth the work. So here's my attempt to turn some of my recent frustrations into opportunities for gratitude and joy.

1. Logan moments - My tactile/kinesthetic learner provides plenty of practice in turning frustration into joy. My initial response upon seeing rice krispies (or water, or dog food, or playdough, or toilet paper, or stuffing from the couch) scattered randomly is instant irritation. My response to situations like this is super important, though - I do not want my son growing up thinking there's something wrong with him. That his desire to experience life with all 5 senses all the time is something of which to be ashamed. So, as James instructs, I consider... My beautiful boy is a glorious reflection of a creative God. He learns through touching and moving. I give thanks for his curiosity, his mischief, his creativity. He is a good gift. (I am also grateful for the patience and humility that are being birthed in me as a result of being his mom!!)

2. Bedrooms converted to swimming pools - Again, frustration is the easy default. It's messy, potentially dangerous, and creates extra work at bedtime. But when I stop and consider... They're being creative, they're co-operating, they're taking turns and having fun together. They're getting exercise. There is much beauty in the middle of this mess. And in a little more than 6 months, my oldest starts kindergarten. Scenes like this will start to become more rare. I will miss our long days at home with no agenda, the endless adventures 3 siblings can dream up. I am grateful for this mess!

3. Kids waiting for Dad to come home at the end of a long day. A Saturday, in fact, and he's working much later than I had expected. Anger is my default reaction. But this does no good - I do not want him arriving home to a grumpy wife. I stop and consider all the gifts in this situation for which I can be grateful. He has a job, one he loves, one that challenges him and gives him opportunities to use his gifts and abilities. He is a strong, loving, good man who works hard to provide for us. And no matter how long or tiring or stressful his day was, he always greets me with a smile and a kiss and an "I love you." Always. I am grateful.

Thinking back to my day at the zoo, I had so much to be thankful for - a warm, sunny day in February to marvel at God's creativity in the animal kingdom. A good friend to spend time with. No diapers or strollers to haul around! And I was cranky because I had to wait for 20 minutes longer than I was expecting... I ignored all the goodness, and focused on the one negative. I need an optometrist for my soul.

As I've started practicing gratitude more intentionally, I've noticed that anger, frustration, and resentment evaporate in the presence of thankfulness. As I focus on those things in any given moment that are good and beautiful, I am less at the mercy of more hurtful and counter-productive reactions. It's all about my focus, training my eyes to see the beauty and the gifts. I have also found myself operating less in survival mode - as I embrace the discipline of seeing God's goodness in all of my moments, I find my days more enjoyable. I am not wishing away this time and constantly looking ahead to future stages of life as somehow holding the key to joy. The joy is here and now, because God's goodness is everywhere!

It's hard work though, and not all moments are as easy to find the good in as my examples. I am trusting God that as I practice with the little things, the mundane and everyday things, that the eyes of my soul will be wide open when much harder things come. That I will be able to find joy in the middle of true hardship. That's a goal worth working towards.