Me do it!

I waste a lot of time trying to do things for my two year old. I'm usually in a hurry and since she's only 2 it takes her longer to do things than I'd like so I try to do them for her. Inevitably, I end up standing there waiting while she re-does whatever I just tried to do for her. And the whole time she's shaking her finger at me and lecturing me: "Me do it next time, Mommy. Me do it!" Sometimes I remember to let her try it on her own and step in only when she asks for help, but since I'm still working on the whole patience thing, often I try to help her along. I'm trying to teach her that it's okay to let people do things for you once in a while, that sometimes you're not tall enough or strong enough or quick enough and it's okay to admit it.

Last night Brian and I were watching this documentary about a paraplegic climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. He reminded me of Rylie because he was absolutely determined to do it all on his own. In fact, he almost gave up when he reached a rock field because there was no way he could get over it unless he was carried, and this would have meant that he had failed to achieve his goal. Thankfully he recognized that being carried does not mean you've failed, it merely means that you're human, and every now and then we all come across a stretch that we simply cannot navigate on our own.

I think most of us like to be seen as competent, self-sufficient individuals. I know I do! I've often thought that my plunge into motherhood was exactly what I needed to expose my limitations and force me to rely on God for the strength, patience, wisdom and love I need to get through each day. People often wonder how we managed so many kids so quickly. As much as I'd like to pretend that I'm superhuman, I have to acknowledge that God carries us. A lot! And I believe that being carried by the all powerful God of the universe beats trying to do it all on my own. Why struggle to maintain the self-sufficient facade when God is waiting, with unlimited power, for me to ask for whatever I need?

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31

Embracing Discomfort

I finally got the wading pool out for the kids yesterday. They were so happy! Feeling fairly self-satisfied, I pulled up a chair and prepared to relax and watch them have fun. I use the term "relax" quite loosely, of course. I did get out of my chair to break up the occasional squabble, make lunch, get towels, put Rylie down for her nap, and run in and out of the house on innumerable errands. All things considered, though, I was doing a fair bit of sitting. It didn't take long for Kolbie to want more than my passive participation. He started by asking, "You coming in pool too, Mommy?" I explained that since I didn't have a swimsuit on, I wouldn't. This satisfied him for a while, but then he started making comments about how much fun he was having, and how I should try it too. Apparently kids don't have an understanding of spectator sports. Before I could formulate a decent excuse, he was pleading, "Come in the pool, Mommy, please please please?!" It occurred to me that one doesn't really require a swimsuit to step into a kids' wading pool, and that I could probably suck it up and walk around in there for a while. I started to take off my flip flops and commented that they should make room - 3 kids and an assortment of buckets and shovels can fill up a wading pool. Kolbie immediately began shoving toys out of the way. At this point, I was starting to feel a little humbled. Then he noticed that I was hesitating and started to brush all the bits of grass in the water out of my way as well. Feeling more than humbled, I stepped in and walked around a bit.

I've realized that I often decline (or grudgingly accept) these types of invitations from the kids because I'm unwilling to experience discomfort. And yet, I firmly believe that God's best plans for us involve a whole lot of discomfort at times. If we're serious about experiencing the grand adventures God has in mind for us, then we'll have to do more than dip our toes into a wading pool. We might just have to throw ourselves bravely into a raging river. So if I can't even splash around with the kids for a few minutes, how am I going to handle real discomfort when it comes my way? If, as Pastor Scott likes to say, every decision determines our destiny, then I need to take advantage of these opportunities to embrace discomfort.

Lately, Brian and I have been feeling a stirring in our hearts, as though God is calling us to be a part of something really big. Something totally beyond ourselves and out of our comfort zones. We're quite excited and more than a little apprehensive! We don't know yet exactly what it will be, but we want to be ready when that clarity comes. And I have a feeling that part of my preparation involves setting aside my desire for comfort and jumping into murky water once in a while. It's time to "live a life worthy of the calling I have received"! (Ephesians 4:1)