Faithfulness

I love weddings! My own wedding day was one of my favourite days of all time and, like many others, I tear up every time I watch a bride walk down the aisle. This past weekend, we had the privilege of attending the wedding of Brian’s oldest nephew. It was a lovely day! It is a little hard to believe that our nieces and nephews are actually old enough to do grown up things like get married, though. ;)

The most significant part of the day for me, however, was listening to the vows. Given the recent downturn in my mom’s condition, it was extremely difficult for me to drive away from Calgary to attend the wedding. I felt quite anxious about leaving, even for just a few days. Then, as I was listening to the vows, especially the ‘in sickness and in health’ part, all I could think about was how my parents are actually living this out right now. It was a heart-wrenching juxtaposition – in front of me, a youthful, fresh-faced couple, glowing with love, joy and eager anticipation of their life together, and in my mind’s eye, images from recent days of Dad helping Mom with the most basic tasks, like walking and getting dressed.

It got me thinking about faithfulness. Usually when we think about faithfulness in the context of marriage we equate it with not cheating on our spouses. I think it goes much deeper than that, though. It is choosing day after day, moment by moment, to love and cherish and respect each other. And when hard times come, it is choosing to love each other well no matter how difficult it is.

I have a tendency to put on a prickly shell whenever I’m dealing with tough emotional stuff. I’m pretty sure I haven’t been the easiest person to love this past week! But Brian has loved me faithfully by responding to my prickliness with gentleness and compassion. And it has been absolutely breathtaking watching my dad faithfully love my mom. He shows up in countless ways, day after day, meeting her needs with tenderness, never complaining. He told me today that he is so glad he made those vows nearly 45 years ago. Then he looked at my mom and said, with tears in his eyes, "And it's not even hard. It's not hard at all." Faithfulness is a beautiful thing!

One of my favourite lines from the wedding this past weekend went something like this: “No one gets to the mic at their 50^th wedding anniversary and says, ‘Well, that was easy.’” I’m only 11 years in to this marriage thing, yet I’ve lived this truth. Marriage is hard work. Those vows roll off our tongues almost effortlessly on our wedding day. Faithfulness, however, is not effortless. It means choosing to love in the middle of the really hard stuff, like cancer, but it also means choosing to love in the everyday hard stuff, like disagreeing on how best to discipline our kids, or manage our money. It means choosing to love and respect our spouses when we feel annoyed by their tastes and opinions, or even how they eat their cereal!

I am so grateful for the people in my life who are showing me what faithful love looks like. I am most grateful for my Heavenly Father who has loved me faithfully since before I was even born, and who shows up for me every day, in countless ways big and small.