A Potty Training Analogy

Much of the last 18 months has been spent potty training our 3 kids. While I do feel fairly experienced at potty training, I do not feel like an expert! Because the kids are so close in age, the youngest 2 trained despite my best efforts - they mostly learned from each other. (In other words, don't ask me for advice... it's been a bit of a whirlwind and I honestly have a hard time explaining how it all happened!)

Early on, I was struck by the observation that I am not that much different than a potty training toddler at times. This observation was sparked when I caught myself thinking things like, "They know what to do, so why don't they do it?!" and "It's so frustrating - why don't they realize how much more freedom they'll have this way and how much better life will be for them??" I realized that the same could often be said of me. So often I know what I should be doing but I don't do it. I know that I need to exercise more, eat less junk food and more fruits and vegetables, and go to bed earlier. I know that I should procrastinate less and keep my stuff more organized. The list could go on and on, which is tempting because I do like making lists... part of the procrastination thing, I guess! Last week, while I was going through stuff for the garage sale, I came across a journal entry from 2003. I had written about the conviction that I needed to spend quiet time with God every day. I wrote about the need for a distinction to be made between physical rest and spiritual rest, and how even if I got adequate sleep at night I would still feel exhausted if I wasn't replenishing my spirit. I read this journal entry and had to shake my head at myself. Eight years later and I'm still working on this one! It is only in recent months that I have finally started getting up early to spend time with God, and this is only because I was desperate - I found myself in the midst of a very busy season and knew I would not be able to cope unless I took drastic measures. It has made an incredible difference in how I've been handling things, so why does it take so long to figure stuff like this out? Why is it that we so often have to get to the end of ourselves before the necessary changes are made?!

I am reassured to know that I'm in good company on this one. In Romans 7:15, 18 and 19, Paul writes, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing." I'm so glad I'm not the only one! But why do so many of us struggle with this stuff? I think part of the reason is that if it was easy to be perfect, we'd be consumed with pride and arrogance (and, therefore, far from perfect...). I think that once we realize we can't do it on our own we are in the right spot for God's power to be unleashed, and that's the only way true and lasting change will happen. For me, willpower and determination only last for so long. It is only when I acknowledge my dependence on God's power that I see results.

So, here's hoping I have learned my lesson and stop being content to live anything less than the abundant life to which I've been called. And when I do forget to be a big girl, I will remember that God has everything I need to help me grow up and do what needs to be done!