I love weddings! My own wedding day was one of my favourite
days of all time and, like many others, I tear up every time I watch a bride
walk down the aisle. This past weekend, we had the privilege of attending the
wedding of Brian’s oldest nephew. It was a lovely day! It is a little hard to
believe that our nieces and nephews are actually old enough to do grown up
things like get married, though. ;)
The most significant part of the day for me, however, was
listening to the vows. Given the recent downturn in my mom’s condition, it was
extremely difficult for me to drive away from Calgary to attend the wedding. I
felt quite anxious about leaving, even for just a few days. Then, as I was
listening to the vows, especially the ‘in sickness and in health’ part, all I
could think about was how my parents are actually living this out right now. It
was a heart-wrenching juxtaposition – in front of me, a youthful, fresh-faced
couple, glowing with love, joy and eager anticipation of their life together,
and in my mind’s eye, images from recent days of Dad helping Mom with the most
basic tasks, like walking and getting dressed.
It got me thinking about faithfulness. Usually when we think
about faithfulness in the context of marriage we equate it with not cheating on
our spouses. I think it goes much deeper than that, though. It is choosing day
after day, moment by moment, to love and cherish and respect each other. And
when hard times come, it is choosing to love each other well no matter how difficult
it is.
I have a tendency to put on a prickly shell whenever I’m
dealing with tough emotional stuff. I’m pretty sure I haven’t been the easiest
person to love this past week! But Brian has loved me faithfully by responding
to my prickliness with gentleness and compassion. And it has been absolutely
breathtaking watching my dad faithfully love my mom. He shows up in countless
ways, day after day, meeting her needs with tenderness, never complaining. He
told me today that he is so glad he made those vows nearly 45 years ago. Then he looked at my mom and said, with tears in his eyes, "And it's not even hard. It's not hard at all." Faithfulness
is a beautiful thing!
One of my favourite lines from the wedding this past weekend
went something like this: “No one gets to the mic at their 50th
wedding anniversary and says, ‘Well, that was easy.’” I’m only 11 years in to
this marriage thing, yet I’ve lived this truth. Marriage is hard work. Those
vows roll off our tongues almost effortlessly on our wedding day. Faithfulness,
however, is not effortless. It means choosing to love in the middle of the
really hard stuff, like cancer, but it also means choosing to love in the
everyday hard stuff, like disagreeing on how best to discipline our kids, or
manage our money. It means choosing to love and respect our spouses when we feel
annoyed by their tastes and opinions, or even how they eat their cereal!
I am so grateful for the people in my life who are showing
me what faithful love looks like. I am most grateful for my Heavenly Father who
has loved me faithfully since before I was even born, and who shows up for me every
day, in countless ways big and small.
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