Monkey Bars

Sometimes I am so proud of my kids, my heart swells with love and joy. I'm not talking about those self-centered proud moments, like those rare times when they're all holding hands and walking nicely across a parking lot and all I can think about is how competent I must seem as a mother... (These proud moments fade quickly when I catch myself, less than a half hour later, shouting across the yard for the 3rd time in 2 minutes, "Logan, if you throw sand one more time we're going inside!") No, I'm talking about the pride that comes from seeing them accomplish something they didn't think they could do. I feel this pride when I watch them perform daring physical feats on playground equipment.

As I've mentioned before, Kolbie has a fairly cautious personality. At the same time, he is quite competitive, so he often finds himself in a bit of a dilemma when we play at parks. He sees other kids doing all sorts of brave and exciting things, but when he tries them himself, he ends up chickening out and calling me to come rescue him. At least, that's what he used to do. Lately, he's been impressing my socks off. My favourite example is the curved ladder that starts off vertical and ends up horizontal. A few weeks ago, he would start up the ladder, get to the point where it became horizontal, and freeze, practically trembling in fear. At first, I would pluck him off but then I figured he needed to man up, so I changed my strategy. I would stand beside him and coach him up or down, but I wouldn't take him off. After at least a dozen false starts and slow backward descents, he started to get the hang of it. Pretty soon, I didn't even have to stand beside him! The funniest thing was how quickly he transformed from trembling fear to towering self-confidence. The first time he did it totally by himself, he turned to me and said, "I'm so good at this, Mommy!" Of course, I had to agree with him! Yesterday, he did it in flip flops.

I think what makes me so happy in these situations is watching him persevere through his fear. I know he feels afraid when he gets too high and starts to feel a little unsteady on his feet - I can see it in his eyes. What I love is that he tries it anyway. And when he succeeds, he does this funny little hoppy run that tells me he's feeling pretty darn good about the whole situation. So, I've been thinking a lot about fear. Have I ever let fear stop me from trying something? Definitely. I've also taken some pretty big risks and felt like a kid at the top of the play structure - full of the joy of being alive.

What I've learned from my monkey bar experiences with Kolbie is that I really do want the kids to take risks. I want them to feel confident enough to at least try things even though they seem really scary. I believe that if we're going to be a part of something truly great in this life, we'll have to take a risk or two. While my kids' safety is important to me, and I do shut down a ridiculous stunt now and then, I certainly do not encourage them to merely sit and observe other children at play when we go to a park. I want them to experience it! And I think God wants the same for us. Unless we step outside of our comfort zone once in a while, we'll never know the exhilaration of being a part of something beyond ourselves. And I believe God is right there with us, promising to pick us up if we fall, bind our wounds if we get hurt, and celebrate with great joy when we reach the top.

I love the story of Peter walking on water (Matthew 14:22-32). I love the fact that Peter became afraid after he was already doing it! So often I forget how great God is, and that His power has already accomplished such amazing things in my life, and I start to sink in a sea of discouragement and fear. As Jesus did with Peter, He will save us from our own lack of faith when we cry out to Him. The more often I step out onto that water, the more my trust in God's power grows, and the more excited I am to experience the exhilaration that comes from being a part of His great adventure.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 

2 Timothy 1:7