Love and Bad Behaviour

When I started writing this post, I thought it was going to be a warm and fuzzy offering about how kids need to feel secure and loved so that they can face their world with confidence. I was going to draw an analogy to my own journey towards security and confidence, and how it all hinges on my soul-deep belief in God's unfailing love for me. Doesn't that sound nice?! Apparently, this was not to be the topic of today's post.

The boys started fighting with each other as soon as they woke up this morning. It seemed that every time I tried to get something done in a different room, the brawl continued as if there had never been a lull. Then I decided to get tough with Rylie - due in no small part to my frustration with the boys, I'm sure! First, I decided that today was a good day to start cutting back on her soother use... again. As if that wasn't enough, I threw in a little potty training - in the form of big girl underwear. She did all right for a while, and then, while I was confiscating the boys' Thomas trains because of the constant fighting, she puddled on the floor and started splashing in it with her hands. After all the necessary cleaning and unnecessary yelling were done, I started thinking about how I don't feel very loving towards my kids when they're behaving poorly. And really, that's when I need to work hardest at communicating my love, because there's nothing like the knowledge of your own shortcomings to cause you to feel insecure about how others feel about you. At least I'm assuming it works the same for the kids as it does for me. :) I want them to know that, no matter what, I'll always love them.

So how do I accomplish that on days like today? How do I discipline the behaviour while communicating my love for the person? How do I willingly, instead of grudgingly, give that post-time-out hug?? I can practice relaxation techniques and anger management strategies. I can reflect on my disasters and modify the way I do things next time. I can remind myself that love is so much more than an emotion and reaffirm my commitment to my kids by practicing more loving actions and words even when I'm not feeling loving. Ultimately though, I think it comes back to my initial thought - I need to be so rooted in God's love that I can't help but react in more mature and loving ways when those around me are behaving badly. After all, God never leaves us hanging, not matter how badly we've behaved. I only have to think of examples from the Bible such as King David and Paul to realize that God models a love that can't be snuffed out.

This morning, I came across the following verse, found in Zephaniah 3:17:

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

How I long for my kids to know that kind of love! To know that they are delighted in and rejoiced over... Come to think of it, I long to know that kind of love, too. I'm so glad I know a God who offers to love me no matter what. As the awareness of this love continues to dawn in my soul, I pray that it will radiate its warmth to those around me.